


average day danganronpa chatfic

by orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Boys In Love, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fukawa Toko Isn't Obsessed With Togami Byakuya, Gen, Girls in Love, How Do I Tag, Human K1-B0 (Dangan Ronpa), I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, IM SORRY THE TAGS ARE SO LONG, M/M, No Smut, Non Binary Izuru Kamukura, Non-Despair Enoshima Junko, Non-Incestuous Shinguji Korekiyo, Ok lets do this, Oma Kokichi Being Oma Kokichi, SORRY YALL, She/Her Pronouns for Fujisaki Chihiro, Soda Drinks His Respect Women Juice, Togami Byakuya Has Feelings, Trans Female Fujisaki Chihiro, adhd enoshima junko, asbdfhkjasf, but like shes still kinda mean, chatfic, gotta keep it PG, hes like the ultimate prodigy or something like that, ill add tags as i go, im not gonna put everyons sexualities cause then the tags would be novel length, izuru isnt a science experiment, junko has gifted child syndrome, komaru is the ultimate babysitter, korekiyos sister is a bitch, maybe ill add angst, nagito babysits them too but that will be mentioned later, no beta we die like all of your favorite characters, non binary imposter, non binary kiibo, pls its 1am, rated teen for bad words, saihara shuichi is done, soda doesnt objectify women in this, the ultimate good at everything? idk ill figure it out, we stan korekiyo in this household, what haha wdym im projecting aha what, who knows - Freeform, yes she babysits the woh what about it, yes this is cliche what about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27736630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Mondo Owada: chihiro why the fuck were you awake at 2 fucking amChihiro Fujisaki: :(Mondo Owada: im not mad im just worried you little shitChihiro Fujisaki: :)Makoto Naegi: rare soft mondoMondo Owada: shut the fuck up
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu, Asahina Aoi/Ogami Sakura, Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko, Chou Koukou Kyuu no Sagishi | Ultimate Imposter/Mitarai Ryota, Fukawa Touko/Naegi Komaru, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, Kirigiri Kyoko/Celestia Ludenberg, Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko, Kuwata Leon/Maizono Sayaka, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Pekoyama Peko, Mioda Ibuki/Tsumiki Mikan, Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Sonia Nevermind/Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham, chishimondo family
Comments: 63
Kudos: 266





	1. the girls and the gays

**Author's Note:**

> hi yall  
> soo this is my first fic, sorry if its shitty i know im unfunny and my ships are basic ahahah  
> some people might be ooc so im sorry about that  
> currently there is no update schedule, but ill try to figure one out
> 
> so enjoy ahaha or dont whatever u want

**2:12 am**

**_Junko Enoshima_ ** **created “the girls and the gays”**

**_Junko Enoshima_ ** **added** **_Aoi Asahina_ ** **and** **_14 others_ **

**Junko Enoshima:** what’s up whores

hey

hey

hey

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** hi??? what is this

**Junko Enoshima:** a class group chat so i can make you all suffer at once!!!

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** bruh

its too late for this <//3 

**Junko Enoshima:** its never too late to suffer!

**Mukuro Ikusaba:** go the fuck to sleep

**Junko Enoshima:** No <3

**Mukuro Ikusaba:** i dont want to hear you whining about being tired tomorrow.

**Junko Enoshima:** mukurowo why are you so mean :,,,,,( im ur lil sis :,(((((

**Mukuro Ikusaba:** no

**Makoto Naegi:** guys go to sleep !!!!! its too late for u to be up!!

also since when does this chat exist

**Junko Enoshima:** since i decided i wanted to make u all subject to my torture

**Makoto Naegi:** chihiro are you ok

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** i am beyond ok. in fact, i am beyond the pain. i have gone so far past the border that separates the feeling of being ok and the feeling of suffering that i am immune, unbothered by the constant pain inflicted onto me by this cruel, harsh world.

**Makoto Naegi:** chihiro 

babe

**Junko Enoshima:** damn ok pack it up ultimate writing prodigy

**Toko Fukawa:** what the goddamn junko

......chihiro

its too late for this im going to sleep

**Makoto Naegi:** no please dont leave me here

with. . .

_ her _

**Junko Enoshima:** :,,,( im hurt <///3 i cant believe everyones ganging up on me :,,,,,,,( even my own SISTER

i can hardly believe i can endure this abuse

**Mukuro Ikusaba:** go tf to sleep

**Junko Enoshima:** nooooo but im boreddddddddddddddddd

guys

guysss

guysyysysysy

:(

guys 

**7:15 am**

**Kyoko Kirigiri:** what.

you all need therapy.

**Mondo Owada:** chihiro why the fuck were you awake at 2 fucking am

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** :(

**Mondo Owada:** im not mad im just worried you little shit

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** :)

**Makoto Naegi:** rare soft mondo

**Mondo Owada:** shut the fuck up

**Kiyotaka Ishimaru:** Good morning classmates!

**Mondo Owada:** morning bro

**Kiyotaka Ishimaru:** Bro! Good morning!

**Makoto Naegi:** yall are literally boyfriends im-

**Byakuya Togami:** Who added me to this?

...I’m not a girl nor am I gay.

**Junko Enoshima:** i did of course!!

dont lie to urself corporate bastard

we all know u make googly eyes at makoto 24/7

**Byakuya Togami:** I.

**Makoto Naegi:** dsjsdjsd junKo

**Junko Enoshima:** u’ll thank me on ur wedding day

**Makoto Naegi:** i- DSJKDJSF

**Celestia Ludenberg:** What is this?

**Kyoko Kirigiri:** A class group chat, apparently.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** Ah.

Also- I never thought this day would come.

The day in which I agree with Junko Enoshima.

**Junko Enoshima:** get used to it goth chick

nice to see you mfs join us!!

**Aoi Asahina:** idk what this is but hi guys!!

**Makoto Naegi:** thank god theres one sane person here

**Sakura Ogami:** i’m assuming this is a class group chat.

**Makoto Naegi:** yup !!!!

2 sane people!!   
  


**Aoi Asahina:** hi sakura!!!! <3

**Sakura Ogami:** hina <3

**Makoto Naegi:** two wild lesbians in their natural habitat

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** @Mondo Owada @Kiyotaka Ishimaru dads im in the courtyard where are uuuu

**Mondo Owada:** taka and i are on our way

**Kiyotaka Ishimaru:** ...Dads?

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** okfdsghkfd

**Mondo Owada:** god dammit taka is crying now

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** ogm wha

**Mondo Owada:** happy tears bitch happy tears

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** oh ok :)

**Makoto Naegi:** sdbdbsbd

my heart can’t take this

**_Chihiro Fujisaki_ ** **changed** **_Mondo Owada’s_ ** **nickname to** **_dad 1_ **

**_Chihiro Fujisaki_ ** **changed** **_Kiyotaka Ishimaru’s_ ** **nickname to** **_dad 2_ **

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** :)

yay i see yall

hiiii

**dad 1:** hi

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** omgsdhfks

**dad 1:** i-

bro fucking picked up chihiro in a hug and is crying

**Makoto Naegi:** senD PIC

**dad 1:** TakaandChihirohug.jpeg

**Aoi Asahina:** you guys are so cute!!

**Makoto Naegi:** SOFT TAKA WE LOVE TO SEE IT

**Sayaka Maizono:** Is this a class group chat

**Makoto Naegi:** yes

**Sayaka Maizono:** Oh!

Well then, hi everyone!

Also, Taka and Mondo are so wholesome ksadjkl!!

**Leon Kuwata:** guys im not even gay

**_Junko Enoshima_ ** **changed chat name to “the girls and the gays and leon”**

**Leon Kuwata:** well now i feel left out

**Junko Enoshima:** silence, het.

**_Junko Enoshima_ ** **changed** **_Leon Kuwata’s_ ** **nickname to** **_h*tero_ **

**h*tero:** heart been broke 2 many times <//3

**Yasuhiro Hagakure:** whats this

junko??? 

**Junko Enoshima:** class gc 

gotdamn ur slow :// i thought itd be obvious to yall 

and you call yourselves ultimates </3

**Yasuhiro Hagakure:** wooow ok 

rude </3

**Kyoko Kirigiri:** Class starts in 10 minutes. Why are Celeste, Sakura, Hina and I the only ones here?

**Yasuhiro Hagakure:** class is overrated

plus we deadass dont even have to show sooo

**Kyoko Kirigiri:** Hm. 

Makoto. 

**Makoto Naegi:** lfkdjla im coming i was just hungry so i decided to go get a burrito

**Yasuhiro Hagakure:** simp

**h*tero:** simp

**Junko Enoshima:** simp

**Sayaka Maizono:** simp

**Toko Fukawa:** simp

**Mukuro Ikusaba:** simp

**dad 1:** simp

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** simp

**Aoi Asahina:** simp

**Sakura Ogami:** simp.

**Celestia Ludenberg:** simp

**dad 2:** What is a simp?

**dad 1:** naegi.

**dad 2:** Oh, okay!

Simp!

**Makoto Naegi:** DAMN OK

at least i still have byakuya <33 

**Byakuya Togami:** Simp.

**Makoto Naegi:** b-b-b-b-b-b-betrayal   
  


**Kyoko Kirigiri:** I guess since it’s not mandatory, you guys are fine.

I’m surprised Taka isn’t here, though.

**dad 2:** I am on my way with Chihiro and Mondo!

**Kyoko Kirigiri:** Damn, Mondo agreed to go to class?

**dad 2:** Chihiro and I convinced him!

**dad 1:** how the fuck do you expect me to say no to chihiro

**Kyoko Kirigiri:** Hm.

**dad 2:** Only eleven out of sixteen of us are here?

Toko! Hifumi! Yasuhiro! Mukuro! Junko!

Please be mindful of the time! I advise you all to be more punctual!

**Toko Fukawa:** i already have plans with omaru. im not going to class

not like you guys care sicne you all think im ugly and annoying

**Makoto Naegi:** none of us think that !!!!

wait

komaru is skipping ???? 

**Toko Fukawa:** dumbass her class isnt mandatory either

**Makoto Naegi:** ohhh right 

i forgot she went to hopes peak now

**dad 2:** Toko! Skipping class will not look good on your record!

**Toko Fukawa:** whatever freak

**dad 1:** what did you say.

**Makoto Naegi:** guys dont fight!

lets just calm down ok

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** dont b mean toko

also

guys just come to class

even if we dont learn anything itll be fun to hang out n stuff yknow!

**Junko Enoshima:** pfft like id want to hang out with you fools

#2cool4u

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** didnt you make this chat with all of us in it

**Junko Enoshima:** silence babe

**Mukuro Ikusaba:** oh well im bored anyway

guess ill come

**Junko Enoshima:** damn ok sis </3

top 10 anime betrayals

**Hifumi Yamada:** Ahem, I don’t have time for school, i’m at an anime convention

**Celestia Ludenberg:** Lucky us.

**Junko Enoshima:** DAMN CELESTIA DONT PLAY

**Makoto Naegi:** pleeeeeease guys can u come ???

its all lonely and boring here without you guys </3

**Junko Enoshima:** who is that directed to

**Makoto Naegi:** not you

**Junko Enoshima:** i-

**Yasuhiro Hagakure:** DAMN

RARE MEAN MAKOTO

AS U SHOULD KING

**Junko Enoshima:** so ur all just ganging up on me huh </3

**Makoto Naegi:** mukuro?

babe wya

**Mukuro Ikusaba:** omw rn

i got a croissant from the cafeteria first cuz food > class

**Makoto Naegi:** true queen

**Yasuhiro Hagakure:** LMAO YALL RLY JUST DISSED JUNKO

**Junko Enoshima:** this is bullying <//3

cyberbullying is real

this is a zero tolerance zone

im telling headmaster kirigiri

**Byakuya Togami:** Stop texting each other and get your sorry asses to class.

**Junko Enoshima:** ok richie rich


	2. pekopeko finally snapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peko Pekoyama: Young master, do you need me to take care of them?
> 
> baby gangsta: i thought i said to drop the young master shit
> 
> Peko Pekoyama: My apologies, baby gangsta.  
> Do you need me to take care of them?
> 
> baby gangsta: i
> 
> Kazuichi Souda: my first time in this chat and i see peko calling fuyuhiko baby gangsta  
> BYE LMASFODG
> 
> Akane Owari: LMAOOOOO
> 
> Ibuki Mioda: pekopeko finally snapped KFDJSLKG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyy now we have the sdr2 babes  
> also izuru and hajimeme  
> sry if the dorm stuff is confusing, just pretend they all live at hopes peak dorms (assuming they do in canon?? idk its been a while since i watched despair arc)
> 
> enjoyyy

**4:24 pm**

**_Chiaki Nanami_ ** **created “Class 77”**

**_Chiaki Nanami_ ** **added** **_Peko Pekoyama_ ** **and 16 others**

**Chiaki Nanami:** hi guys

ms yukizome suggested i make this chat so we can bond

so

here

**Ibuki Mioda:** hi chiaki!!!!

ibuki was just practicing her guitar!!!

**Chiaki Nanami:** that sounds fun

theres a game series called guitar hero i think youd like it 

we should play sometime

**Ibuki Mioda:** oooo! ibuki would love to!!

**Hajime Hinata:** Why am I here Im not in class 77

**Chiaki Nanami:** because ur my friend

also nagito said he knew u too so i thought id add u since we have a mutual friend

**Hajime Hinata:** Oh cool

**Nagito Komaeda:** oh hello everyone

i didnt realise i was in a chat full of ultimates

im honored you'd even consider sharing a group chat with me!!!

**Chiaki Nanami:** nagito ur here cus ur our friend smh

**Hajime Hinata:** Yeah dude stop talking down on yourself

**Nagito Komaeda:** ahjdagjag you guys are too kind!!

**Mikan Tsumiki:** oh hello everoyne ,,

**Hiyoko Saionji:** ugh you added this trashy skank to our group chat

**Mikan Tsumiki:** im sorry!!!!!

**Ibuki Mioda:** hiyoko!!! be nice to mikan !!!

**Mahiru Koizumi:** Hey guys

Also Hiyoko pls stop bullying mikan

**Hiyoko Saionji:** im not bullying her!

im just pointing out the truth!

you guys are bullying me!! do u really think id lie to mikan??!!

**Mikan Tsumiki:** im really soryr!!!!

**Chiaki Nanami:** guys pls be kind

we made this chat to bond

hiyoko, ill mute you if you keep this up

**Hiyoko Saionji:** ugh whateverrrrr

**Mikan Tsumiki:** :( im srorryyy

**Ibuki Mioda:** dont be sorry mikan!!! ibuki thinks youre awesome!!

**Mikan Tsumiki:** really?,,

**_Ibuki Mioda_ ** **changed** **_Mikan Tsumiki’s_ ** **nickname to** **_the most awesome person ever!_ **

**the most awesome person ever:** ibuki..youre so nice!! :)

**Ibuki Mioda:** :D

**Akane Owari:** yo

whats up gays

**Nekomaru Nidai:** HELLO!!!!

**Ibuki Mioda:** HIIIIIIIIIII

**Chiaki Nanami:** text quietly pls n ty

**Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu:** why am i here

**Akane Owari:** yo baby gangsta

**Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu:** stop fucking calling me baby gangsta

**_Akane Owari_ ** **changed** **_Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu’s_ ** **nickname to** **_baby gangsta_ **

**baby gangsta:** fuck you all

**Peko Pekoyama:** Young master, do you need me to take care of them?

**baby gangsta:** i thought i said to drop the young master shit

**Peko Pekoyama:** My apologies, baby gangsta.

Do you need me to take care of them?

**baby gangsta:** i

**Kazuichi Souda:** my first time in this chat and i see peko calling fuyuhiko baby gangsta

BYE LMASFODG

**Akane Owari:** LMAOOOOO

**Ibuki Mioda:** pekopeko finally snapped KFDJSLKG

**Akane Owari:** BYEEE IM LOSING IT

**Gundham Tanaka:** Who dares summon the supreme ruler of the underworld into a measly mortal communication group?

**Kazuichi Souda:** hi gundhammm

**Gundham Tanaka:** Greetings, mortal.

**Sonia Nevermind:** Hello!

**Kazuichi Souda:** hi soniaaa

**Nagito Komaeda:** the coffee stuff i keep in my dorm is expired i dont want to waste it

do i drink it yes or yes

**Kazuichi Souda:** YES absolutely

**Gundham Tanaka:** One will never successfully make it to the fiery blaze of hell if one does not test the limits of their mortal state.

**Kazuichi Souda:** thats gundham for yes

**Hajime Hinata:** Nagito NO

**Nagito Komaeda:** nagito yes

death will claim me in the coming hours

the clocks a ticking the water is a boiling

**Hajime Hinata:** NAGIYP

**Imposter:** Each day I spend with you all I get more grey hairs.

Im 17.

**the most awesome person ever!:** you porbrbaly shouldnt do that!!!

**Nagito Komaeda:** the water is a in the cup the coffee is a going in

**Hajime Hinata:** KDFKD

**Izuru Kamukura:** have you always been this stupid?

**Nagito Komaeda:** ah hello izuru

i didnt realise you went to hopes peak!

**Izuru Kamukura:** we’re actual roommates.

**Chiaki Nanami:** hes not in our class but i added him since hes my friend too

also nagito dont drink expired coffee

nagito

nagito-

izuru whats he doing

**Izuru Kamukura:** hes drinking it at the moment and is attempting to drink it all in one gulp.

... 

he passed out.

**Chiaki Nanami:** oh my,,

**Hajime Hinata:** IZURU

**Akane Owari:** PLSELASEK

NOT KOMAEDA AHVING A WHOLE ASS CAFFEINE OVERDOSE AND IZURU JUST LIKE

he passed out.

BYE

**Kazuichi Souda:** AHGHASGHKFA PL

**the most awesome person ever!:** i should probably come to yuor dorm... 

what nmuber is it ???

**Izuru Kamukura:** 312 B

**Hajime Hinata:** IZURUISAF

Arent u like a certified nurse or some shit

**Izuru Kamukura:** yes.

**Hajime Hinata:** ...

IZURU

**Mahiru Koizumi:** Hey guys Im back

Sorry for leaving, I just saw some pretty birds

... 

Is Nagito ok-?

**Hiyoko Saionji:** AHAHKFHASJ THE DUMBASS PASSED OUT FORM DRINKING EXPIRED CVOFFEE

**Mahiru Koizumi:** ..

Maybe Ill just leave...

**Hiyoko Saionji:** NO BABE COME BACK

**Nagito Komaeda:** im backkk

the coffee was bitter :////

i suppose it was suitable for someone as dry and insignificant as me!

**Chiaki Nanami:** nagito no

**Hajime Hinata:** Nagito wtf

Why would you drink expired coffee

And in ONE GULP for that matter

Also no you’re not insignificant or dry

You’re one of the most important people in my life I love being around you

You have a really nice personality and I really enjoy talking and hanging out with you ok

**Nagito Komaeda:** i

i guess if you insist ahaha

i appreciate it hajime! i love being around you too! <3

**Hajime Hinata:** <3

**Izuru Kamukura:** you guys are so painfully oblivious.

**Chiaki Nanami:** i feel like i just witnessed something private

but yea nagito we care about u

**baby gangsta:** when will you just fucking get together already

**Nagito Komaeda:** you completely misunderstand! hajime and i are just friends :) besides hajime wouldn’t want to be with someone like me anyway! ahahga

**Hajime Hinata:** yeah guys im not even gay

**baby gangsta:** god dammit

**Gundham Tanaka:** It appears I have been overestimating you mortals. Not only are you blind to the higher power hiding in the darkness of the universe, but you also are blind to one another and your agonizingly obvious personal feelings written clearly on your sleeves.

**Kazuichi Souda:** thats gundham for wow ur dumb

**12:36 am**

**Ryota Mitarai:** wait whats this?

**Chiaki Nanami:** hey ryota

its a class gc

why are u awak

**Ryota Mitarai:** i just woke up i think i fell asleep on my desk or something

**Chiaki Nanami:** wow

u just woke up??

**Imposter:** Go to bed. Both of you.

**Ryota Mitarai:** but i just woke up

**Imposter:** Just now?

Thats not healthy. What time do you go to bed?

**Ryota Mitarai:** uhh 6

**Imposter:** You should probably talk to Tsumiki about that.

**Nagito Komaeda:** why are all of u awake ??

**Hajime Hinata:** Yeah guys tf

**Chiaki Nanami:** i was gaming and i lost track of time

**Hajime Hinata:** Oh hi Ryota

**Ryota Mitarai:** hi hajimje

hamike

hajimme

**Hajime Hinata:** Its ok take your time

**Ryota Mitarai:** HAJIME***

smh

**_Nagito Komaeda_ ** **changed** **_Hajime Hinata’s_ ** **nickname to hajimje**

**hajimje:** Wow ok

**Ryota Mitarai:** rude</3

not all of us are the shsl speller

**Nagito Komaeda:** is there even a shsl speller

**hajimje:** Yeah, Ryota

**_hajimje_ ** **changed** **_Ryota Mitarai’s_ ** **nickname to** **_SHSL Speller_ **

**SHSL Speller:** thanks hajimje

animation? we dont know her

**hajimje:** Nagito still doesnt have a nickname

**Nagito Komaeda:** ahahahah idk if im worthy of a nickname

**hajimje:** Shut up

**_hajimje_ ** **changed** **_Nagito Komaeda’s_ ** **nickname to Luck 100**

**Luck 100:** truly a fitting name

**SHSL Speller:** oh are u the shsl lucky student

i thought u were like

the shsl 

uh

uhh idk actually

**Luck 100:** yeppp im the shsl lucky student

not just cause i won the hopes peak thing, though

my luck cycle is indescribable

**SHSL Speller:** rly?

like how

**Luck 100:** one time i got kidnapped by a serial killer and found a winning lottery ticket in the trash bag he put me in

plus then he let me go since no one would pay the ransom

so i got a shit ton of money!

**SHSL Speller:** i

i think ill go to bed now

goodnight

**Luck 100:** ok! goodnight!

**hajimje:** you WHAT

**7:21 am**

**Mahiru Koizumi:** Scroll up for rare ryota appearance

**Sonia Nevermind:** Good morning everyone!

Unfortunately it looks like its going to rain today :(

Kazuichi and Gundham, would you like me to drive you both to get coffee this morning since we can’t walk?

**Kazuichi Souda:** yes pls

thank u queen

**Gundham Tanaka:** I suppose it is sometimes necessary to request transportation from a mere mortal, considering it would be unwise to unleash my raw dark power due to my overwhelming aura of evil being noticeably stronger during rainstorms.

**Sonia Nevermind:** Alright!

I will pick you up in 15 minutes!

**_Luck 100_ ** **changed** **_Kazuichi Souda’s_ ** **nickname to** **_shsl simp_ **

**shsl simp:** i cant rly deny this ig

wait whose luck 100

is it nagito

**Luck 100:** yes

**shsl simp:** k

**SHSL Speller:** kinda shook that im up this early ngl

**shsl simp:** whose the shsl speller??

i didnt even know there was one ???

**SHSL Speller:** im ryota

im not actually the shsl speller

just

scroll up

**shsl simp:** oh

oh ok

im kazuichi

**SHSL Speller:** yeah i figured

**shsl simp:** damn whats that supposed to mean

**Ibuki Mioda:** ibuki says good morning to everyone!!!

hi ryota!!!!

**SHSL Speller:** hey ibuki

**Teruteru Hanamura:** Well good morning everyone~

**Nekomaru Nidai:** If anyone wants to join akane and i in the gym feel free!!!!!

**Hiyoko Saionji:** yuh no i wanna keep my skull

**Imposter:** Ryota, I see you’re up early.

...Really early.

Did you talk to Tsumiki?

**SHSL Speller:** uhh no sry

**the most awesome person ever!:** do you need smoething from me,,?

**SHSL Speller:** oh are u mikan

um i guess

**the most awesome person ever!:** ok ! whats your dorm nubmer?

**SHSL Speller:** 104 B

**the most awesome person ever!:** i can come after clsals is ovwer,,,

**SHSL Speller:** cool

**the most awesome person ever!:** only if you want to!!! im sorry for assuming imdeiatjle that youd want me there!!

**SHSL Speller:** chill i do

**the most awesome person ever!:** ok,

**Ibuki Mioda:** of course ryota wants you there!!! mikan is the most awesome person ever after all!!!

**the most awesome person ever!:** thsnk you ibuki!!,

**Mahiru Koizumi:** Ah yes 

The Gay™ at it’s finest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i *,' cherish ',* comments <3


	3. kokichi bullying hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cockitchy: is this some sort of protagonist thing i’m too villainous to understand
> 
> gorgeous girl genius: pls we both know you’re the comic relief extra
> 
> kaede depussy: DSJFKASDJFL
> 
> cockitchy: i-
> 
> Maki Harukawa: i think he’s more like that one background character with only one line that appears every twenty minutes to ease tension.
> 
> kaede depussy: PLEASEDS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyy drv3 characters now  
> dflkja sorry about the lack of appearance from ryoma, idrk how to write him but u will get the content from him that u deserve dw
> 
> enjoyyyy
> 
> edit: i changed korekiyo's texting style to all lowercase but the rest of his grammar is correct. he def does it for the aesthetic. he only appears for like 0.000003 seconds but its a hunch ok. an anthropology thing. ok bye sorry.

**8:45 am**

**_Kaede Akamatsu_ ** **created “Class 79!”**

**_Kaede Akamatsu_ ** **added** **_Rantaro Amami_ ** **and 14 others**

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Hi everyoneeee

Welcome to the class group chat!

**Shuichi Saihara:** why at 8am

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Bc I said so

**Kiibo:** Hello Kaede!

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Hey keebs!!

**Shuichi Saihara:** wow ok

**Kokichi Ouma:** HELPJFDKS 

MY FOOT IS STUCK IN THE DRAIN

**Shuichi Saihara:** the

the what

**Kokichi Ouma:** that’s a lie! 

ahahaha you totally fell for thatttt

**Shuichi Saihara:** its too early for this bullshit

**Kokichi Ouma:** omg 😱 little old shumai cursed???

my wholesome bean is all grown up

**Miu Iruma:** ok 5’1”

**Kokichi Ouma:** stfu

shumai why aren’t you helping me  
im getting bullied by a fugly whore D

😭😭😭

**Miu Iruma:** fugly whoree??? /??

**Shuichi Saihara:** sorry kokichi

miu dont fun of kokichi

sorry miu

**Kaede Akamatsu:** I regret making this chat

Kokichi, don’t call Miu a fugly whore

**Tsumugi Shirogane:** Hey guys!

Tbh I didn’t think you’d actually make this chat Kaede

Oh well!

**Tenko Chabashira:** Tenko cant believe Kaede would add degenerates to this chat!!!!!

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Tenko, they’re our friends

**Kirumi Tojo:** Hello, everyone.

**Kokichi Ouma:** MOM!!!

**Kirumi Tojo:** I am not your mother.

**Kokichi Ouma:** ya u areeeee

**Tenko Chabashira:** Silence, degenerate!!

**Gonta Gokuhara:** Gonta happy to be able to talk to all Gonta’s friends in same group :)

**Kaede Akamatsu:** Hi Gonta!

**Gonta Gokuhara:** Hello Kaede :)

**Tenko Chabashira:** ...Gonta is the only valid degenerate.

**Gonta Gokuhara:** Gonta is glad Tenko likes him! :D

**Miu Iruma:** why are u typing like a 40 year old facebook mom 

be normal god damn

capital letters are for virgins

**Gonta Gokuhara:** gonta sorry!

but is capitalisation not correct grammar? gonta confused. . .

**Miu Iruma:** its ok gonta ur fine

**Gonta Gokuhara:** Ok! :)

**Kaede Akamatsu:** -like this?

**Miu Iruma:** yas bae mwah

**_Kokichi Ouma_ ** **changed** **_Kirumi Tojo’s_ ** **nickname to** **_mom_ **

**mom:** Kokichi, no.

**Kokichi Ouma:** kokichi yas

**Miu Iruma:** boooo your names are fucking boring!!!

gorgeous girl genius will think of better nicknames

**_Miu Iruma_ ** **changed** **_Kokichi Ouma’s_ ** **nickname to** **_cockitchy_ **

**_Miu Iruma_ ** **changed** **_Gonta Gokuhara’s_ ** **nickname to** **_wholesome_ **

**_Miu Iruma_ ** **changed** **_Tenko Chabashira’s_ ** **nickname to** **_feminist 100_ **

**_Miu Iruma_ ** **changed her own nickname to** **_gorgeous girl genius_ **

**_gorgeous girl genius_ ** **changed** **_Himiko Yumeno’s_ ** **nickname to** **_baby witch gay_ **

**gorgeous girl genius:** blegh im too lazy to change all of your nicknames

get a life god damn im not a fucking maid!

no offense kirumi

**cockitchy:** dont bully my mom!!!

woooow this niuckname is so mean

WAAAAAHHHH!!! 😭😭😭 shumai don’t abandon me again😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

@Shuichi Saihara 

@Shuichi Saihara 

@Shuichi Saihara 

@Shuichi Saihara 

@Shuichi Saihara 

@Shuichi Saihara 

@Shuichi Saihara 

@Shuichi Saihara 

@Shuichi Saihara 

@Shuichi Saihara 

@Shuichi Saihara 

@Shuichi Saihara 

**Shuichi Saihara:** what the god damn

**cockitchy:** 😭😭 everyone is bullying me again

i’m a victim of cyberbullying <//3

**Shuichi Saihara:** stop bullying kokichi

be nice

**cockitchy:** yayayyays 

my seggsy detective in shining armor <3333

**_cockitchy_ ** **changed** **_Shuichi Saihara’s_ ** **nickname to** **_seggsy detective in shining armor_ **

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** each day we stray further from god

**Angie Yonaga:** nonsense!! atua is always watching over us and will always be there in times of need!! <3

**baby witch gay:** i agree with atua

wait wuts this

why is my name baby witch gay

im not a witch im a mage!! its magic 

**feminist 100:** Himiko is absolutely right!

**_feminist 100_ ** **changed** **_baby witch gay’s_ ** **nickname to** **_baby mage gay_ **

**baby mage gay:** im satisfied with this   
  


**feminist 100:** <3

**gorgeous girl genius:** simp

**Tsumugi Shirogane:** Yall really just ignored me after i sent three whole texts

Im hurt, truly

Sorry im allergic to fake friends </3

**cockitchy:** silence weeb

**_cockitchy_ ** **changed** **_Tsumugi Shirogane’s_ ** **nickname to** **_weeb_ **

**weeb:** Can’t deny that!

**Rantaro Amami:** Uh hi

**feminist 100:** filthy degenerate! turn off auto capitalisation!

**Rantaro Amami:** um ok ig

**Korekiyo Shinguji:** i see i’ve been added to a group chat.

**gorgeous girl genius:** hold up

**_gorgeous girl genius_ ** **changed** **_Korekiyo Shinguji’s_ ** **nickname to** **_fork shinGUCCI_ **

**fork shinGUCCI:** i-?

**gorgeous girl genius:** finally something ur smartass science shit can’t solve!

**Rantaro Amami:** fork- derived from kork, a shortening of Korekiyo. shingucci- referencing your shitloads of money

**gorgeous girl genius:** damn you amami!!!!

**fork shinGUCCI:** it seems i’ve failed as an anthropologist.

thank you, rantaro.

**Rantaro Amami:** no prob bro

**6:38 pm**

**Kiibo:** Hello all! Sorry for leaving earlier

I had a lot of tests today!

**cockitchy:** thanks no one asked :///

**Kiibo:** :(

**gorgeous girl genius:** hey keebs

ugh stfu cockitchy

**Kiibo:** Kokichi, you should be more kind!

I do believe it will do you good!

**cockitchy:** i agree, kiibo

you really opened my eyes just now!

guys, for realsies, i do solemnly swear on the universe to be kind to everyone for the rest of the foreseeable future!

**Kiibo:** I’m glad to have given you a change in heart!

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** kiibo, he’s taken twelve oaths since yesterday morning

i wouldnt trust him

**cockitchy:** shumaiiii dont you trust me :((((

i would never lie to you!! i swear!!

i swear on your emo hat!!!!!!!!!!! 

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** sigh

**Maki Harukawa:** shuichi.

why am i in a group chat with ouma.

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** im sorryhfdhdf i didnt make this chat kaede did i dont know

**Kaede Akamatsu:** i made it so we could bond as a class!

**Kaito Momota:** whats up yall

oh hey maki roll

**Maki Harukawa:** hello

**Kaede Akamatsu:** yay almost everyone has checked into the group chat!!!

**gorgeous girl genius:** checked in....?

bae,,,, are you going to kill us all????

**Kaede Akamatsu:** you know what i mean!!!

i want everyone to see this group chat!

**wholesome:** Gonta see group chat just fine!

Why Gonta’s name wholesome? Did Gonta’s name change?

**Kaede Akamatsu:** it’s a nickname!

**wholesome:** Oh

Gonta like nicknames!

Why don’t Kaede have nickname?

**_gorgeous girl genius_ ** **changed** **_Kaede Akamatsu’s_ ** **nickname to** **_kaede depussy_ **

**kaede depussy:** i

LMAO

**gorgeous girl genius:** its that bussy musician you told me about!!

**kaede depussy:** i should’ve known you’d pull this

**cockitchy:** is this some sort of protagonist thing i’m too villainous to understand

**gorgeous girl genius:** pls we both know you’re the comic relief extra

**kaede depussy:** DSJFKASDJFL

**cockitchy:** i-

**Maki Harukawa:** i think he’s more like that one background character with only one line that appears every twenty minutes to ease tension.

**kaede depussy:** PLEASEDS

**_kaede depussy_ ** **renamed chat to** **_kokichi bullying hour_ **

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** i—

omgskag

**Kaito Momota:** serves ur damn right for calling me an idiot

**cockitchy:** how rude

im leaving goodbye

this is my breaking point

i thought you were my friends

i thought you were there for me

**Maki Harukawa:** you were wrong.

**feminist 100:** tenko would drop any degenerate in a heartbeat

**gorgeous girl genius:** i cant wait to show up to your funeral knowing i couldve changed that outcome

**cockitchy:** YALL ARE BRUTAL😭😭😭😭😭😭

**Kiibo:** Normally I would oppose bullying, but I think you need a taste of your own medicine!

**cockitchy:** k-k-keebs

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** i beg of you don’t ever type a stutter again for the love of god

**cockitchy:** o-o-o-ok *sniffle* *nuzzle* *uwu* i w-w-won’t i p-pwomise s-s-saihawa-chan

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** i 

i beg of you

**cockitchy:** rawr x3 *nuzzles* *pounces on you* uwu you so warm

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** NO

**cockitchy:** couldn’t help but notice ur bulge from across the floor

nuzzles ur necky wecky~ murr~ hehe

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** NO

PPLEASE

**cockitchy:** unzips ur baggy ass pants oof bb u so musky

**kaede depussy:** FSADFJK

DONT RUIN GONTAS INNOCENCE

**gorgeous girl genius:** smh take it to dms fucking virgins

**cockitchy:** okeyyy~ nishishi~~

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** DSGKJNCMXZ

**weeb:** Kaede

I got us cosplay convention tickets for next saturday!  
Pls come pls pls pls

**kaede depussy:** omg yessss

**gorgeous girl genius:** did the gays actually take it to dms IMMM

damn imagine getting midget nudes

couldnt be me </3

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** BFDASJ

kokichi doesnt send me nudes wtf

were jsut friends

**gorgeous girl genius:**.

..

... 

LMAOFDSIAF OK 

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** what???

**gorgeous girl genius:** PLS thats the worst lie ive ever heard

kokichi probably fucking rubbed off on u LMFAOA

**cockitchy:** wow rude </3

shumai i cant believe u would deny our secret forbidden love affair

are you embarrased to be seen with me??? 😭😭

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** no no i just

**gorgeous girl genius:** pffft does ur dick compensate for ur height LMAO

**cockitchy:** pffft do your tits compensate for ur personality LMAO

**seggsy detective in shining armor:** i

IM-

**gorgeous girl genius:** whhatt????

**kaede depussy:** thats not true!! 

i love your personality miu!!!!!

  
 **Kiibo:** Do oaths mean nothing to you..?


	4. big titty goth gf is typing...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celestia Ludenberg: Ah.  
> This is an interesting sight.
> 
> Kyoko Kirigiri: Indeed.
> 
> Sayaka Maizono: Why do you both always come online at the same time
> 
> Junko Enoshima: FR THO  
> yall sus  
> headmaster kirigiri can kyoko come out to play🥵🥵🥵
> 
> Kyoko Kirigiri: I-
> 
> Celestia Ludenberg: I-
> 
> Junko Enoshima: don’t you mean  
> je-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> komaru joins the party  
> tokomaru ofc<3  
> plus more celesgiri
> 
> enjoyyyy

**the girls and the gays and leon**

**7:04 pm**

**Makoto Naegi:** hey guys can i add komaru

**Sayaka Maizono:** Sure!

**_Makoto Naegi_ ** **added** **_Komaru Naegi_ **

**Komaru Naegi:** hi everyone!

**Toko Fukawa:** KOMARUU <3333

**_Toko Fukawa_ ** **changed her own nickname to** **_genocider syo_ **

**Komaru Naegi:** HI TOKI <3

**genocider syo:** ugh its about time someone actually cool is in this chat

big mac is boringgggg 

**Komaru Naegi:** aw i dont think hes that bad

**Sayaka Maizono:** Hi Komaru!

**Komaru Naegi:** i

GKKGSDAFDL

sayaka maizono???? !!

omg MKJFD

**Makoto Naegi:** shes freaking out cause u were her lesbian awakening

**Komaru Naegi:** SHUT RUP

**genocider syo:** cishettie you better not get any ideas

**Komaru Naegi:** toki b nice

**Sayaka Maizono:** Cishettie??

But I’m bi

**Makoto Naegi:** wait fr

**Junko Enoshima:** considering how basic u are i never wouldve guessed lmao

**Sayaka Maizono:** I’m not basic :( 

**Komaru Naegi:** omg ofc ur not basic dfjjdsg

ur an amazing singer and ur literally my idol i admire u sm

**Sayaka Maizono:** Aww you’re so sweet!

Thanks Komaru!

**_genocider syo_ ** **changed** **_Komaru Naegi’s_ ** **nickname to** **_*lesbian panic*_ **

***lesbian panic*:** SYAYAKA MAIZONF D KNOWS MY NAM,E

D;SFGFKG

**genocider syo:** bae im right here </3

***lesbian panic*:** omg no toki ily <3

**genocider syo:** ur forgiven <3

**Aoi Asahina:** hi komaru!!

i

TOKI

**genocider syo:** don’t you fucking ever call me toki tits mcgee

only komaru gets those rights

**Aoi Asahina:** OW

thats actually rly sweet tho omg

**_genocider syo_ ** **changed** **_Aoi Asahina’s_ ** **nickname to** **_tits mcgee_ **

**_genocider syo_ ** **changed** **_Makoto Naegi’s_ ** **nickname to** **_big mac_ **

**genocider syo:** you’re all my bitches hejehehehe

**Junko Enoshima:** pfffft as if we all know ur a bottom

**genocider syo:** ewww dont call me a bottom

unlike the other chick i very much could peg anyone

komaru can attest to that😏

***lesbian panic*:** SKLJAG SYO

**Junko Enoshima:** i-

LMAOFKK A;L 

**big mac:** lemme just moonwalk out

**tits mcgee:** BYE DFK LMAO

what happens if u change in the middle of doing it

**genocider syo:** i

why tf would i sneeze?? ??>

***lesbian panic*:** GUYIS LMASO

**Celestia Ludenberg:** Ah.

This is an interesting sight.

**Kyoko Kirigiri:** Indeed.

**Sayaka Maizono:** Why do you both always come online at the same time

**Junko Enoshima:** FR THO

yall sus

headmaster kirigiri can kyoko come out to play 🥵🥵🥵

**Kyoko Kirigiri:** I-

**Celestia Ludenberg:** I-

**Junko Enoshima:** don’t you mean

je-

**genocider syo:** big titty goth gf is typing..

**Celestia Ludenberg:** I’m flattered that you think so highly of my chest.

**_genocider syo_ ** **changed** **_Celestia Ludenberg’s_ ** **nickname to** **_big titty goth gf_ **

**big titty goth gf:** Ah.

What does that make Kyoko?

**genocider syo:** idk figure it out urself damn

**Junko Enoshima:** the serial killer girl is way more interesting than the nerd smh ://

**genocider syo:** ikr

***lesbian panic*:** i think ur both amazing!

**Junko Enoshima:** ur just too nice to say anything lol

**_genocider syo_ ** **changed** **_Junko Enoshima’s_ ** **nickname to** **_daniel_ **

**_genocider syo_ ** **changed** **_Mukuro Ikusaba’s_ ** **nickname to** **_the cooler daniel_ **

**daniel:** uhh wdym

*im* the cooler daniel :///

**the cooler daniel:** whatever helps u sleep at night

**daniel:** m-m-mukuro ;;

**genocider syo:** trained, experienced, skilled soldier > blonde boob chick

**daniel:** pls im sobbing ur so mean im calling the school counselor

**big mac:** maybe she’ll give u therapy ice

**daniel:** BYE LMAO THERAPY ICE

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** can someone play fireboy and watergirl w me

pls playing both at once is stressful

**tits mcgee:** i’ll play with you!   
fireboy and watergirl is like the only game im not painfully trashy at

chihiro wya

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** my dorm

or the computer room whichever u want

**tits mcgee:** ur dorm is fine!   
im omw

**daniel:** arent you the fukcing shsl programmer

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** programming isnt the same as gaming

**daniel:** but fireboy and watergirl??? fr 

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** fine then why don’t you come play both at once and get an A damn

**daniel:** bet

its literally coolmath games lol

**tits mcgee:** im there let me innnnnn

**daniel:** ill be there in 10 to kick your ass dont worry

**dad 1:** yo can i come too

not like i wanna play some shitty fucking kids game i just want to see junko beaten

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** absolutely!!

**dad 1:** cool

takas coming too

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** yayayay 

**11:26 pm**

**Byakuya Togami:** Why are there shouting noises coming from Chihiro’s dorm?

**big mac:** hell if i know

theyre all playing coolmathgames or something

**Byakuya Togami:** For four and a half hours?

**big mac:** yes

**Kyoko Kirigiri:** How do I put up with you people?

**big mac:** i ask myself that every day

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** sorry byakuya

i died as watergirl so rn hiro is playing as her

**big mac:** hiro joined yall??

i thought it was just u n taka n mondo n aoi n the daniels

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** well he, hifumi, celeste, plus some people from class 77 and 79 came by and joined us too

hiro joined in the middle of the forest temple cus he heard us from his room

celeste was walking by and she came in 2 see what we were up to and joined us

hifumi just sorta showed up idk when

taka fell asleep on the couch already tho

**big mac:** my baby is all grown up shes having parties on her own<333 :,,,,,)

**Byakuya Togami:** ...Why is someone violently sobbing?

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** oh sorry thats hiro

**Yasuhiro Hagakure:** HOW CAN I BE WORSE THAN HIFUMI   
GOTDAMNING OIEDSF

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** chill g

**Hifumi Yamada:** my experience in cool math games is far more plentiful than yours, hehe

**Yasuhiro Hagakure:** STFU

**2:28 am**

**daniel:** FINALLY WE BEAT ALL FOUR

**Yasuhiro Hagakure:** LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

**Byakuya Togami:** Go to sleep.

**4:20 am**

**Yasuhiro Hagakure:** haha blaze it

**_daniel_ ** **changed** **_Yasuhiro Hagakure’s_ ** **nickname to** **_stoner_ **

**7:15 am**

***lesbian panic*:** oh boy you guys sure stay up late!

im glad i mute my phone at night,,

**genocider syo:** wait what

when did omaru get here?

why am i genocider syo

***lesbian panic*:** hi tokiii <3

**_genocider syo_ ** **changed her own nickname to** **_toko_ **

**toko:** hi omaru

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** everyones asleep in my dorm can someone come get them out

pls they all look like dead bodies

**big mac:** it aint easy being cool kid

**Byakuya Togami:** Like you would know.

**big mac:** i

PDGJSK

PLEASe

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** just get them out

,,

celeste u good?

**big titty goth gf:** Ah.

Pardon me.

**big mac:** #getcelesteatherapist2020

**Kyoko Kirigiri:** Good morning everyone.

Is Celestia ok? I can hear her from my room.

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** yes ma’am ur goth will be on ur doorstep in two to five business days

**11:58 am**

**stoner:** why tf did i wake up in the middle of the dorm hall

**h*tero:** I

YOU WHAT LMAO

**dad 1:** you were asleep in chihiros fucking kitchen so i be rid of you dumbass

**stoner:** w afklsf 

WHY WAS SI ASLEEP THERE   
  


**dad 1:** u were high on fucking weed

**h*tero:**

students: *doing actual weed*

hopes peak staff:

students: *makes grade below 70*

hopes peak staff: 👁️👁️ suddenly i am a̶̧̡̨̜̮̞̹͉̋́̃w̶̹̻̉̔͒̒̏̾́̀a̵̤̺̙͔̟̱͖̍̄r̸̬̦̼̍ë̵̞̳̼̳̩͓̟͙̹́̃́̓̆̆͊̄̎

  
**stoner:** yeah </3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments give me oxygen
> 
> edit: i just realised i forgot to change makotos nickname after it was changed so i edited that 😗✌


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3:02 am
> 
> daniel: ugh i’m bored
> 
> stoner: www. wattpad. com/ -shrek-x-reader-smut
> 
> daniel: WHAT THE FUCK  
> NOT THAT BORED  
> HIRO S DOIFLSADF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fdjsgklhgd SORRY about the late update i. had finals and stuff and barely managed to squeeze this out of me in the middle of studying woohoo   
> merry christmas fellas
> 
> enjoy

**the girls and the gays and leon**

**9:12 pm**

**daniel:** im gonna fucking lose it i cant fucking believe this god damn ass eating shit. this is my breaking point good fucking bye im faking my death and leaving the country to join a motherfucking traveling circus. i cant believe i put up w this shit daily.

**big mac:** what happened????

**daniel:** i got a fucking papercut

on that spot betyween my thumb and my foreskin

**big mac:** i

LMAOFDJ YOUR WHAT

**daniel:** H

MY 

FORE FINGER

???

FIRST ONE FINGER 

**big mac:** LMSDAFKO

**daniel:** PLEASE

ugh whatever it doesnt change my plans.

im joining the circus.

ill juggle or some shit.

**the cooler daniel:** you cant even carry two cups at the same time without dropping one

**daniel:** LISTEN OK HOLDING TWO CUPS AT ONCE IS STRESFSUL

pack it up shsl soldier smh not all of us have 100% coordination

**the cooler daniel:** junko my dearest sister i mean this in the best most loving way possible but

you need some serious psychological evaluation

**daniel:** girl stfu

pack it up mom friend 🙄✋

were deadass twins if i need it so do u 

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** foreskin???????

**dad 2:** You all should refrain from using such vulgar language in the chat!!

**daniel:** ohh so when mondo curses like a god damn sailor its fine but when i say foreskin suddenly im the embodiment of teaching little kids to say fuck hmm i see how it is

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** dad 1 gets the gay pass

**daniel:** PLS IM PRACFTICALLY GAY THOO

IM SHIT AT MATH AND DRIVING AND I HAVE MOMMY ISSUES THATS LIKE

2 IN 1 COMBO

**the cooler daniel:** i. tf u are??

ur literally a textbook genius the fuck ur great at math

**daniel:** awww rare uplifting mukuro

but also BAHHHASDGHA

no

girly did you seen my grades back in public school LMAOAOE

**the cooler daniel:** grades don’t define your intelligence.

u don’t give urself enough credit just cause of ur grades.

**daniel:** damn murkureo ur makin me blush

oh well

that doesnt matter all that matters is that im one sexy motherfucker

**the cooler daniel:** sigh

**1:29 am**

**h*tero:** yknow what maybe im not a het

**daniel:** w 

wa

lleon u WHAT 

**h*tero:** kinda feelin like im bi frfr 

i meannn mostly cuz im internally reevaluating child me staring at guys abs

but like also 💖sayaka💖

**daniel:** damn now we dont have a token cishet

and when i say token i mean fucking chuck e cheese token

**h*tero:** damn ok </3

**Sayaka Maizono:** Thats great! I support u Leon <3

**h*tero:** <3

**_daniel_ ** **changed** **_h*tero’s_ ** **nickname to** **_white boy supreme_ **

**_daniel_ ** **changed chat name to** **_the girls and the gays_ **

**white boy supreme:** PLS

**daniel:** this is a no het zone

#heterophobicandproud

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** pls why cant some of us have nicknames too

**daniel:** cus ur unworthy B)

**Chihiro Fujisaki:** :(

**_daniel_ ** **changed** **_Chihiro Fujisaki’s_ ** **nickname to** **_fujisagay_ **

**_daniel_ ** **changed** **_Sayaka Maizono’s_ ** **nickname to** **_white girl supreme_ **

**_daniel_ ** **changed** **_Byakuya Togami’s_ ** **nickname to** **_jeff gayzos_ **

**fujisagay:** :)

**white boy supreme:** pls why is chihiros smile emoticon work like witchcraft tf

**white girl supreme:** But im not white???

We’re literally all japanese 

**daniel:** girly u might as well be

basic ass hoe

pack it up braileigh 🙄✋

**white girl supreme:** Whose braileigh????? 

**white boy supreme:** babe dont question her

its just junko

**fujisagay:** just junko just junko just junko just junko just ju

**white boy supreme:** she probably kins monika

**daniel:** naw that whore is #2compassionate4me

**jeff gayzos:** Why are you spamming the chat at 1 am again?

..

Why is my name jeff gayzos?

**daniel:** for someone who claims 2 be the “chosen among the chosen” ur pretty fukn dense toges

**jeff gayzos:** I’m not gay.

Who the fuck is toges.

What would lead you to assume that I of all people am gay?

In no way do I even fit the common stereotype of ‘flamboyant homosexual’ and I certainly am not showing any interest in any other males.

How many times do I have to tell you.

**white boy supreme:** idk man the way u boast about being smart any time literally anyone approaches u seems pretty flamboyant homosexual to me

**daniel:** KLSFA;LSJ 

take it up with the chief gays @dad 1 @dad 2 @Kyoko Kirigiri @big titty goth gf

sounds 2 me like a certain tsun tsun is in denial😏😏😏😏😏

**fujisagay:** normally id try to stay out of junkos endeavors but you did send an awfy long message tryna prove ur immovable heterosexuality

**white boy supreme:** how do u mispell awfully but not immovable

**fujisagay:** pls its 1 am cut me some slack

**daniel:** teehee someones awfy quiet 

toges

togessss

toe gamer

baka toe gaymer

**_white boy supreme_ ** **changed** **_jeff gayzos’s_ ** **nickname to** **_baka toe gaymer_ **

**baka toe gaymer:** It physically pains me to interact with you.

**white boy supreme:** just accept it smh

no one with that amount of daddy issues can possibly be str8 ok

i said what i said

**daniel:** FR THOOO

**baka toe gaymer:** I hate to break it to you absolute morons but I’m straight.

**white boy supreme:** dont play dumb my guy we all know whats up

being pitted against your siblings by ur dad? your honor i declare that this man has daddy issues

**fujisagay:** its ok this is a safe space

**daniel:** LMFAO

**3:02 am**

**daniel:** ugh i’m bored

**stoner:** www. wattpad. com/ -shrek-x-reader-smut

**daniel:** WHAT THE FUCK

NOT THAT BORED

HIRO S DOIFLSADF

**stoner:** LMAO

**white boy supreme:** ugh already seen it pick some original shrek smut already goddamn

**daniel:** YOU WHAT/????

**fujisagay:** each day we stray further from god

dads help me :( pls

@dad 1 @dad 2

**dad 1:** what the fuck have you cursed us with

who the fuck

chihiro i

apologize to chihiro rn

**fujisagay:** dad can we get icecream :(

**dad 1:** sure ill pick u up

**stoner:** PLS

boyfriend material frfr

he has it all 1. commitment 2. soft heart 3. stronk 4. motorcycle 5. compassion

ayo

ayo

**dad 1:** no

**stoner:** understandable have a nice day

**daniel:** i never thought i would relate to such an exceedingly dumb human but alas here i find myself connecting with your complete and utter lack of motivation to put forth effort in order 2 achieve ur goals

**stoner:** what

**daniel:** LMAO MOOD*

**stoner:** LMAO

**fujisagay:** :) mondo n i went to a 24 hour ice cream place

i got a mint chocy chip

**daniel:** EWW WTF U LIKE THAT GROSS SHIT

**dad 1:** excuse me.

**daniel:** omg mint chocolate chip?? thats my favorite flavor ! ! ! !! !1 ppl who compare it to toothpaste are sore losers ahahhsa they deserve 2 die !!!

**fujisagay:** its ok i know its not the most liked taste!

im just glad i got to be w mondo cus 

sad girl hrs iykyk

**stoner:** omg tru

**white boy supreme:** chihiro u good

**fujisagay:** eheheh e yes i am,now 

war of the austrian succession ice cream cured my depression

**white boy supreme:** #truth

dw were here 4 u

**fujisagay:** :)

**4:21 am**

**stoner:** lmfao blaze it 

GOD KJSTG MN I MISSED HTE MARK

**daniel:** aajhaj loser

**6:30 am**

**Sakura Ogami:** i ask that you all try and refrain from texting so much in the ungodly hours of the night, for it makes my phone impossibly slow in the morning with so many text notifications.

it is also unhealthy to have such a sporadic sleep schedule.

**daniel:** but thats the only time i feel alive </3

**8:07 am**

**tits mcgee:** only 2 days left including today until winter break!!!

**big mac:** YESYEYSE

im glad i can see komaru a lot n stuff but i do be missing my parents

**tits mcgee:** yes!!!

im actually going to sakura’s for the first weekend first so i can meet her parents!

im excited sksksk

**Sakura Ogami:** me as well. <3

**tits mcgee:** <3

**big mac:** KDJKAKJLFS

why are yall like the perfect couple

here we go lesbians here we go lesbians

**tits mcgee:** RIGHT

**daniel:** DEADASS

**big mac:** @daniel @the cooler daniel y’all are proof of that one text post

daddy issues makes u a people pleaser but mommy issues makes you like. a sociopath

**daniel:** i

**the cooler daniel:** i

**daniel:** FKJASKJLF

dude rly called u out LMFAO

**the cooler daniel:** not just me ok

ur a fuckn sociopath.

also

it pains me to read makotos name change it please

ur this close THIS CLOSE to ruining mcdonalds 4 me

**big mac:** OWW

UM

RUDE 

**_daniel_ ** **changed** **_big mac’s_ ** **nickname to** **_togami’s bitch_ **

**togami’s bitch:** i

WHAFDHSFJAK 

**the cooler daniel:** DEADASS

togami: makoto is an exceedingly dull piece of trash it makes me physically ill to look at him what a mistake

makoto: ok i love you

**togami’s bitch:** i HWJGKF 

**tits mcgee:** DEADASSA SDFLKJSDF 

**the cooler daniel:** does togami apply to the meme

**daniel:** i

hmm 

**the cooler daniel:** top 10 questions scientists STILL CANT ANSWER!!!! 

**daniel:** so like

one 1 hand we got

togami absolutely despises everyone and everything aorund him so i would never in a million lives expect him to care about pleasing us

but on another hand he tries pretty damn hard 2 prove hes hte chosen one or some shit

in this essay i will

**the cooler daniel:** wheres the damn essay

good analysis doe

**daniel:** deadass the only ppl here w normal family relations r lesbian panic & togami’s bitch

**togami’s bitch:** ARE YOU JUST GONAN CALL US BY OUR NICKNAMES NOW

**tits mcgee:** wym??? i thought that's what it said on ur birth certificate?

  
**daniel:** LMFAO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup this one's trash but. i swear the next one'll be better. good day everyone

**Author's Note:**

> thx for reading <3 i cherish comments


End file.
